Fatherly Advice...

Happy Fathers Day!

Natalia Poklonskaya - 3D or 2D?

It seems that the new 33 year old Crimean attorney general and immortal empress Natalia Poklonskaya has developed quite a following among Anime fans worldwide, who seem to be obsessed with her kawaii appearance and are duplicating her form and figure in 2D just about everywhere:

 

So which Japanese studio will be first to develop a Tsundere themed 12 episode Anime series around her? Or perhaps it will be one of those obligatory 'prosecutor by day, BDSM queen by night' shows?

Please guys, no cries of "please come and annex my heart" or how "she's Putin the cute in prosecute", OK?

Funimation Confirms Retirement of More Geneon Licenses

I know this is probably old news, but here we go anyway. Sophie McNutt, an online community lead for Funimation, confirmed yesterday that Funimation has, or will soon, let their license on the following Geneon titles expire:

Familiar of Zero
Kamichu
Kyo Kara Maoh
Paradise Kiss
The Story of Saiunkoku
The Law of Ueki
When They Cry

All of these have been out of print basically since last fall anyway, but now at least it's official. They are already commanding ridiculously high prices in the secondary market, but I suspect that's because these editions will be the last DVD pressings that we'll ever see of these titles released in R1. I don't suppose anyone has tried to pickup one of those Cardcaptor Sakura DVD bricks lately? Ouch! Sophie also said:

"As far as I know, there are no plans to re-acquire these titles."  Well, no kidding.

My question? What the heck does an 'online community lead' do? Is that an actual job? If so, I'm guessing that is one of those 'gateway gigs' for that fresh outta college, newly framed business degree guy or gal (you know, the one with the minor in advertising) that you hire by pitching them that the position is some sort of fantastic entry level marketing opportunity but just ends up vampiring their professional (and probably personal) life away working your facebook, twitter, blog, and forum accounts?

Yeeesh, I wouldn't want that job...

...oh yeah, I forgot.

The 'Anti-Sale' Promotion - HEH

We make a few mistakes on the store site from time to time - and fans NEVER fail to immediately call us out on them, so when I saw this from Mr. Perfect's site circulating around the Anime webs, I thought it was funny. Seems Brand X was recently having an 'Anti-Sale' on Gilgamesh boxes:

Damn, you can't even get an affiliate commission or club discount on that one. Looks like they are returning to their old pricing strategy. HEH. -_^

Something You Need to Know About Me

As someone who has found the time to watch the Pantsu Anime Strike Witches end to end twice, but somehow in 10 years has NEVER seen a single episode of American Idol, I admit I still only have the vaguest idea who this 'Snooki' person is. And apparently she has now written a book, and it has made it's way onto the NYT bestseller list.

It's also one of those books with Amazon reviews that have vastly more entertainment value than any literary merit of the work they review.

Examples:

"This is by far the best assisted suicide novel I have ever read. I was literally cutting my wrists as every page was turned. Bravo Snooki!!"

"I still pine for the day when Wicket W. Warrick releases his memoirs of the Battle of Endor, but until then, we'll just have to settle for this excellent translation. It's one of the cleanest in the English language, where the grunts and vernacular of the vertically challenged and girth enhanced Snooki come across in all their simplicity."

"I never knew what it was like to stare into the abyss, until I read this book. I now realize the true depths of despair my soul can be driven to. Thanks, Snooki!"

"Could Hemingway have said the same? Faulkner? F. Scott Fitzgerald? I think not! Even in the realm of popular fiction, Stephen King can only boast of 25% tops, and he has never written a spinechilling tale of modern horror the ghastly equal of "A Shore Thing."

"This book reads like a field manual for getting lucky anywhere between Long Branch and Atlantic City. Quite frankly, I'm surprised Mr. Wonka allowed her enough time off from manning the Gobstopper machine to produce such a well thought out work. If Rommel was the Desert Fox, then surely this brilliant author rates unquestionably as "The Beach Chupacabra"

Sometimes great literature apparently comes out of nowhere... and then there is this:

"At first I had my doubts about this book...she weaves a story that is more believable than anything I have read by Paul Krugman."

Now I'll buy that for a dollar.

What It's Like Inside My Head Sometimes...

...frequently after doing customer service.

Yes, that's very much what it's like to be in the Anime business. Thanks for asking...

Earthquake Aftermath

As I said in yesterday's newsletter, many of us here in the DC area were awoken at 5:04am yesterday by the 3.6 earthquake that was centered near Rockville, MD.

Some pictures of the devastation have started to surface:



Now we are all just waiting for the Federal Government to declare a disaster and start shoveling in Billions of taxpayer funded financial assistance...

Stan Cox is not a cool guy...

As a life long DC area resident I can only wonder what happened to the Washington Post that they now allow some of the worlds stupidest people to write for them. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Case and point, one Mr. Stan Cox.

And here while I'm worrying over squeezing every ounce of efficiency from the A/C units at both my home and our warehouse, Mr. Cox thinks the better choice would be to do away with them altogether. Unbelievable.

For the record we air condition and dehumidify our entire warehouse. Not just the office space folks, but the entire thing. Why? Because if manga aren't kept cool and dry the pages will curl and their glued bindings will just fall apart. DVD's exposed to really hot temperatures end up with wrinkled covers and sticky shrink wrap. And don't even ask what happens to figures when their packaging gets exposed to high humidity for long periods of time. We climate control the whole warehouse to make sure your products get to you in 100% perfect condition, even if they end up in our warehouse for awhile first.

Hmmm, I wonder if 'Brand X' does that?

The Small Business Zombie Apocalypse

For any of you contemplating starting and running your own business in the current economy, here is a really good illustration of what it's like for us:

Hint: That's us at the top. Have a nice weekend! :-)

Update: You can also look forward to stupidity like this. I think if this and the new Internet sales tax goes through, and they actually allow the investment and capital gains tax rates to increase (for which even 20% is WAY too high), a lot of us are going to think about tapping out. Who is John Galt?

Freedom Commercial Doesn't Suck

In consideration of Independence day coming up in a couple of weeks, this is the first piece of marketing material to come from the People's Automotive Collective #3 that I've seen in a long time that doesn't suck:



Sorry to our Brit friends, but how could the Redcoats be expected to stand against Washington's legions of attacking Dodge Challengers. Remember Lord Cornwallis held the line at Yorktown until redoubt #10 fell to the charging columns of hastily built but powerful Shelby GT's (though it's said Washington in his Chevy Camero did not personally participate in that attack).

Nothing is more American than a really phat muscle car that goes really fast and gets really shitty gas mileage - except perhaps a good German muscle car with similar specs - unless of course the American car is bristling with weapons.

And if you're scratching your head and wondering why Washington would attack the British instead of trying to 'use diplomacy', then you probably drive a Prius. I've heard the advancing British columns used to eat those up for breakfast...

HEH.

I Could Not Have Said it Better Myself

Hilarious but sooooo true:



Meanwhile, Peter Serafinowicz has an article over on Gizmodo about how he's committing career suicide in by stealing his own movies.

Clarke and Dawe ask the Million Dollar Questions...

Leave it to our friends in Australia to sum up the entire current global financial crisis in less than 3 minutes:

The Hits Just Keep on Coming...

Lots of interesting news from the Anime Economatrix today:

"The Publishers Weekly trade magazine reports that the North American manga and anime publisher Viz Media has laid off up to 55 people at its San Francisco headquarters and closed its New York branch, which had five employees. According to the magazine, the layoffs represents about 40% of the publisher's workforce. Viz confirmed the layoffs with Publishers Weekly on Tuesday, but not the number of layoffs."

Wow, 40% of their staff. This will be the second big downsizing for Viz in the last 18 months, but the last time they only let go a dozen or so people. We all know what going on in general with manga, but on the Video side they have only themselves to blame. The switch in marketing and distribution last spring from S&S to Warner effectively killed their video line in the direct market (that's the domain of guys like us and Nation and Brand X), and the sacrifice was in vain because the mass market sales they were hoping for have not materialized. The effects of that move are probably transparent to most of you folks, but it causes us pain every day because Warner makes it SOOOO hard to sell Viz Video, and we service the market they need to build from. That's life I suppose, but I do feel very bad for the folks that had to loose their jobs because of it.

Also being reported today, and not a surprise at all to us, is that manga publisher Go Comi! has finally been put to bed:

The North American manga publishing company Go! Comi has let its website domain expire as of May 8. Former Go! Comi Creative Director Audry Taylor has also told ANN that she is no longer working at the company. According to retailers, the last volume of manga published by Go! Comi had shipped in October of 2009. The website had shut down its user forums in April. Go! Comi's Twitter account has also been deleted. A Google cache of the website from April 8 indicates that its last Twitter update was on February 1. Go! Comi had posted an update on its web forum regarding the status of the company and its publications in January. In the post, the site administrator apologized for the company's delays and explained that the company was being hit hard "due to a combination of economic downturn and digital theft." The post also said Go! Comi may need to scale back on its website and online community or may need to shut it down altogether "until the economy picks up again."

But the economy never did pick up again, and now they are gone. Like I always say - "old Anime companies never die, they just fade away". Sometimes that's true.

It looks like 4Kid's, while still hanging on, needs an angel investor [really] fast:

"4Kids lost $3.5 million in its first quarter, representing deterioration from the $2 million loss in its Q1 a year ago. Sales were $4.2 million, down from $9.3 million a year ago. Revenues were challenged in a number of areas. The company reported “substantially no revenue” from the Chaotic TCG in Q1, and acknowledged that “over-all lack of demand for the Chaotic property” required 4Kids to grant $300,000 in allowances and promotional markdowns on Chaotic during Q1. Other drop-offs included reductions in licensing on Monster Jam and AKC Properties; the elimination of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles revenues as a result of the sale of the property; reduced international sales of Dinosaur King and Yu-Gi-Oh! TV shows; and reductions in advertising on its TV show and Websites, including make goods from Q4... ...4Kids is in danger of having its stock delisted by the New York Stock Exchange because its market cap is too low. Kahn did not offer any hope in the company’s conference call that he would be able to get the company’s stock price up in time to avoid the delisting. If the company’s stock is delisted from the NYSE, it would trade on pink sheets. "

When you start looking at quarterly losses comparable to gross revenue, you know it's all over. 4Kids is a classic example of a company where management got a few hits early on and then had no clue where to invest those new found riches, so they spent years throwing darts at a board until they ran out of money. Chaotic is a great example. Holy crap Batman, what were they thinking?! Hopefully Al Kahn has a good parachute clause in his contract.

And finally - OMG! - Stu Levy has dreamed up yet another HAIR BRAINED SCHEME to try to promote his Manga brand. You just can't make stuff like this up:

"The North American manga publisher Tokyopop will be touring the U.S. this summer to promote the company and film a reality show called "America's Greatest Otaku," in which Tokyopop CEO Stu Levy, Associate Producer Daisuke Kinouchi, and six interns will "search America for the #1 otaku." The tour will visit conventions, bookstores and libraries across America and interview fans competing for the title. Tokyopop had been searching for someone to be the tour's manager. Tokyopop has also launched a dedicated website for the tour."

Geeeze Stu, everyone already knows that I'm America's '#1 Otaku'. For crying out loud, I'd really have to be wouldn't I? -_^ Just send your film crew here and save the plane fair everywhere else. Based on how hard it is to get back stock on your books, you guys clearly need the money anyway...

In PA They Are Partying Like it's 1984...

This is what the state government is running on TV in PA:



Those darned Proles with their nice cars and nice houses, gotta make sure they pay the state their annual protection money so they can have permission to keep their stuff another year. Poor Tom probably doesn't even know he owes the state 4 large + interest and penalty. He's still busy trying to figure out the Federal tax code for his small business that is completely unintelligible:


It's still not as bad as trying to figure out PayPal's user agreement though.

Maybe Orwell should have named his book '2010' instead. Good grief people, what balls the state has to run an ad like that. If they are not careful, folks down at the tax office might start worrying about getting a 'John Malcolm'. The people know who THEY are too.

Nozomi To Release Dirty Pair TV Series This Fall

Press release:

"Nozomi Entertainment announced that it has acquired the rights to the Dirty Pair TV series. The company will release the 24 episodes and two specials in two DVD box sets. Each will feature re-mastered video with Japanese audio and subtitles."

Coming on DVD this fall. Sub only.

Is there anyone that still doesn't already have a copy of Dirty Pair? Based on all the foreplay Brand X did in the press releases and little countdown timer thingy to work us all into a frenzy, I thought the intercourse would have been better...

"Yawn"

UPDATE: Yeah, I know it's a picture of the OVA box there. Sue me.

CORRECTION: This is NOT a re-release after all folks, the original DP TV series was the one made in 1985 that was canceled after 24 eps (it was originally supposed to be 26 eps). It has not been released prior, only the OVA, Flash, and the movies. I was thinking of Flash all day. My bad, I stand corrected.

"Yawn"